FLASHBACK: March 12, 2007 - Publius and boobies

In the last of the series of retro-Publius, the individual continues to express his love of science (among other things)

Date: March 12, 2007 2:01:22 PM EDT
To: charlotterunningclub@yahoogroups.com
Cc: Jennifer Cooley, Cindy Cooley, Nelson May, Jill Keller, Cantey Land, Meghan Marsano, David Hogeboom, Bruce Wagoner, Phil Chamberlin, Jin Woo Jun, Sean Welsh, May King, Jody Dennis, Tim Long, Joseph Asaro, Franco Ordonez, Keith Mrochek, Josh Saak, Ben Calhoun, Monica Ferkowicz, Bevin Jett, Mary Franceschi, Mary Jo Arrington, Renee Simcoe-Martin, Joseph Madera, Liza Beth, Lisa Palermo, Jocelyn Sikora, Ian Seeney, Pete Kaplan
Subject: HOORAY FOR BOOBIES! (and regression analysis)

Best album title - ever. Even The Todd (from Scrubs) would agree

“I have to go, there's a breast reduction on the fourth floor... I'm gonna go try and stop it.”

The MAP Sprint Triathlon on Saturday mostly went well! This is my fifth year doing it, but the first three were in uptown. Last year I finished at 1:17. The 500 yard swim did not go all that well. My left eye cup lost suction and then I had to roughly pass three people near the end (two of which turned out to be Mona’s friends…) I finished at 10:05, five seconds worse than last year, placing 226th out of 332 male finishers. The big difference this year was my sweet new Trek Madone, named Holman. We flew at 20.5 mph over 20K to cross at 36:31, a huge improvement from 40:15 last year. I continued the downward plumet placing 109 out of 331 male finishers. The 5K was a reasonably strong run, finishing at 22:29, another couple of minutes faster than last year. For the run that put me at 93rd out of 327 male finishers. Final time 1:11:21.

Before the results were released, it looked like I had a reasonable shot of breaking the top male 100 for the first time. That didn’t happen, but 109th (0.33) is my strongest finish ever for a full NCTS race. Overall 126/477 (0.26).

I am not going to get all worked up about it, because that race is really meant for me to just start thinking “triathlons” and my goal is very different from the spill-your-guts-out approach of a sprint since I need to go EIGHT times the distance for each in August.

My main interest here is the relationship between bib number and resultant swim time / resultant total time. Bib numbers were assigned linearly from fastest submitted time to slowest. (This is probably not true for the first say 25 elite athletes, whose numbers are often assigned on previous standings or results from last year). After watching all the cluster fucks / passing / scratchings, it’s clear a lot of people aren’t in tune with how fast it takes them to swim 500 yards. Or is it? Attached are some summaries of my analysis.

I did a regressional analysis for the two independent variables. In each the dependent variable is bib number. The charts show a basic plotting first of actual swim time versus bib number (top) and actual total time versus bib number (bottom). Even Todd can see there is evidence for linear relationships. The regression results for SWIM are shown, with a R-squared of 0.42 and some fairly suspect p-values. The next tab shows TOTAL results – the R-squared here is 0.38 which shows there is (obviously) a little less of a tighter relationship. This makes complete sense, given my relatively poor pool swimming ability (bib # 419) versus the dozens of people I passed on the bike and run. You can see I beat two people in the “top 25,” outlasted 13 people in the top 50, and 35 in the top 100. Only 2 people with a higher bib finished better. The first tab with results shows predicted SWIM and TOTAL times based on the proposed intercept and x variable. What would be more relevant per se are a suite of t-tests on predicted and actual swim times, but I don’t have those. And how about comparisons of the two dependent variables? CONCLUSION? People are sorta clueless, but maybe they know something.

This is a cursory analysis fitting for a mediocre tenth grade science project; but alas I do have an actual baseline report deadline this afternoon.

publius

p.s. speaking of the Discovery channel, there was a very interesting piece on army ants yesterday. It reminded me of a McGyver episode where he made a protective suit out of a hose to defeat a massive army ant invasion.*

*okay I was ten at the time and it was a scary episode

FLASHBACK: March 10, 2007 - Publius back from the dead

With the demise of the Sharksbite mailing list (and some may argue Sharksbite) and the disappearance of Old Asian Running Man, I thought Publius had seen his last scratchings upon this gentle earth.

Date: March 10, 2007 9:23:38 PM EST
To: Jennifer Cooley, Cindy Cooley, Nelson May, Jill Keller, Cantey Land, Meghan Marsano, David Hogeboom, Bruce Wagoner, Phil Chamberlin, Jin Woo Jun, Sean Welsh, May King, Jody Dennis, Tim Long, Joseph Asaro, Franco Ordonez, Keith Mrochek, Josh Saak, Ben Calhoun, Monica Ferkowicz, Bevin Jett, Mary Franceschi, Mary Jo Arrington, Renee Simcoe-Martin, Joseph Madera, Liza Beth, Lisa Palermo, Jocelyn Sikora, Ian Seeney, Pete Kaplan, charlotterunningclub@yahoogroups.com
Subject: let us REJOICE! Old Asian Running Man is ALIVE!!


Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I've had a fistful of problems lately. This all was wiped clean last Saturday when after finishing a 20 mile training run at record pace, I saw someone so special I forgot not only my strong run but every itchy fiber of a problem. I was cooling down in the Dowd Y parking lot when I saw what I first thought was a ghost towards me. It was old Asian running man! He was walking very slowly with whom I could only guess was his equally old wife. They were such a cute couple. (devout reader Bruce can attest to this sighting) I had not seen him for quite some time - my last sighting was Friday, September 2, 2005 when I was working on my hamstrings. He was lifting weights like a badass. Before that I had seen him numerous times running down Tryon, either dressed like an eskimo with thick gloves or wearing a simple white tank in the heat of the summer. Old Asian running man [aka OARM] is my hero!

Maybe I will ask him to train with me for my upcoming Ironman. I recently lost my training buddy for this awe-inspiring endeavor and almost felt like I lost what it really needed to cross that line. I think I'm back on track now.

My thoughts have drifted back to my washer and dryer. They are doing well, but with a day like today my housemate and I prefer to put our clothes on the line in the backyard. That does cut down on energy bills, but as we all know it's very important to not stick exercise clothes with Coolmax or other polyesters in the dryer. My main problem is the washer, or the discharge line. Since I bought the house the line has backed up due to improper plumbing design. My dad and I have tackled the problem several times. What am I going to do? I am saddened at the impending loss of my housemate, who is returning to Milan at the end of the month. I suppose the streets of Charlotte will be safer but still I weep for the death of the spirit and the soul. Winston too will miss begging for his amazing cooking, self-induced howling, and afternoon walks.

Many of you know about all the construction on South Boulevard. This is important to me because that street is the most direct route to my office. After nearly six months of finding other routes, mainly up Tryon or I-77, I am happy to report that I'm back on the beat. I don't understand the engineering behind the split between Old Pineville and Marsh. Won't the light rail disrupt the southbound traffic? The best addition to South Boulevard is the new Performance Bicycle - that's my little crack house. I don't understand why I have to get out of the car though - usually first class service goes a long way with me.

Speaking of service and cars, I've been having a lot of problems lately with my Volvo. We've been together for almost seven years now. I named him Aurelius before venturing out to North Carolina. For this past Thanksgiving I was out in Seattle looking for the perfect tacky Christmas tie (and boy did I find it!) On my return I found my engine was flooded (with gasoline). I took him to this Volvo/high end BMW shop near my house. They found the battery had exacerbated the problem. I didn't realize it at the time, but they only fixed the resultant problems but still charged me a great deal. I did experience their first class shuttle service. Upon picking me up at work the driver related several stories about a picking up a customer who was a dancer at Uptown Cabaret. For some strange reason he seemed fixated on her large breasts. But I digress. The engine flooded again at the end of February. I took it the AAA shop across the street from my house and they actually identified the source of the problem for a lot less. Too bad the mass air flow sensor part cost $370! But I do believe I learned my lesson. Ya got to stick to the Boulevard man!

The CPR Racing business appears to no longer be in business. This is bad news, as I was about ready to publish the results of a study I undertook comparing them with the Rock Shop (which tricks out jeeps). So I needed a new project. I crave data even worse than a cheap bike tire. So I am logging distance and times from various routes from the house to my place of employment. I've only taken data for several months (n=28) but I can share some preliminary data - my average commute is 11 minutes and 46 seconds. One standard deviation, which would account for approximately 68% of the points if normally distributed, is one minute and 59 seconds. There is a temporal component to the study, but I need some quiet time to understand the gravity of the research design.

The Boulevard is alive and well. Apparently Carousel is advertising jello wrestling. I'm not the kind of guy that would go in there, mainly because I identify with Uptown Cabaret. There is a new Chick-fil-A going in. Thanks to fact I usually try to avoid working on Sunday, it will great to always see it open when I zip by. The other day at the Burger King next to it there was a car on fire. Not just kind-of on fire, but engulfed-in-flames fire like you see in the movies. The firetruck pulled in as I passed by. It of course is that time of year to complain about those silly people from Liberty Tax Service that dress up as the Statue of Liberty and get people to honk their cars. I have not seen the woman with the USAT sticker, but perhaps a few months ago I saw that woman that walks to work up near the Scaleybark Library.

I did receive an interesting piece of mail this past year. A friend of mine from high school was working in DC for the summer and wrote in early August asking for my mailing address. I sent the information promptly only to get a soup mix package, a picture of which is attached. Much to his dismay I still have yet to use the package and have no inclination to do so. If you're like him and enjoy humorous "English" products butchered by foreign nations, try http://www.engrish.com

I must apologize to my long-time readers regarding the brevity of this missive and that it contains 42% less the usual numbers of obscure references and wit, but please remember I have been in hibernation. As strong as the OARM epiphany was, it is sometimes slow to regain ones former traction.


publius


“It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information."

-Oscar Wilde

FLASHBACK: February 22, 2006 - Publius is not dead

I may be biased, but these just get better and better!


Date: February 22, 2006 1:30:26 PM EST
To: sharksbite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: a confederacy of dunces

Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I've had a fistful of problems lately. Sure, my job may be a hassle, but it's certainly not new and I don't have any kids (so none of them have the flu) but it's always sure nice talking to you. I thought I would dispense with the litany of excuses. Perhaps it was my hope to see the old Asian man running down Tryon. But I haven't seen him since September 2nd when I was in the Dowd Y. He punched a mean bag! Wow. I hope he is well. Perhaps he put on too many sweatsuits and just disappeared like Ben Kenobi... So these days all I have left in those environs is to watch loyal reader Brittany's car each day to make sure the hookers hanging outside the Uptown Cabaret aren't using his car for tricks. And of course nothing to report with the completion of that construction job, although the east side still remains half demolished. It seems rather logical why construction would take so long. If you were a construction worker, wouldn't that be your dream job?

Speaking of finishing construction projects, the work on South Boulevard between East and 277 that caused me to take famous detours is now nothing more than a distant memory. But fear not, my daily journey up South Boulevard is always full of amazing adventures and situations to ponder. I thought I would take you on a detailed journey regarding some of the many interesting businesses and how they entertain my noggin' as I journey north every day. Pat McCrory may have made the comment South Boulevard is a dump, but hey - it's my dump!

While the journey technically begins at Seneca where I join South Boulevard, I recently discovered that the Hooters just to the south suddenly closed and went out of business. This is quite a shock as I thought the business of creating money out of boobies was a sure thing. Maybe I should blame myself, as I never patronized the establishment. It's always tough to see a business near your home go out of business, as it could affect property values, but the truth is I don't care for Hooters and I think their wings are adequate at best. Maybe I am a little bitter about my last visit, which was with my Washington friends in Vegas last April. Our waitress Pamela Jean really put a number on us, giving us a bogus phone number and promised to hang out after her shift - all for a big tip. She told us she was an aspiring songwriter and even gave us her website - http://www.pamelajean.net! My friend Russell had a web-enabled phone so we got to see her crouching behind her guitar right away. And that was it. What a huge surprise. Whoops - I violated the sacred Las Vegas mantra - but that was hardly exciting.

But I digress as that building is not on my route. Right at Seneca and South I begin with The Cobber, a private bar that looks quite shady. My former housemate told me they were racist and only invited white people to join. I did believe her at the time, but it later became apparent she lied about a great many things. Perhaps it was my fault. I should have instructed her that my heirloom spoons were only to be used for cereals, soups, and like food products - not to prep her heroin. I hope I will be more clear next time. I don't see that cute woman with the USAT sticker anymore but the first live person of interesting stands outside the Liberty Income Tax business, dressed like a fool in a Statue of Liberty outfit wildly waving to passerbys to remind them it is tax season and perhaps you should entrust your financial information to the shady people inside - who no doubt promise you a great loan in anticipation of your BIG refund. No thank you.

After crossing Woodlawn my scientific curiosities are aroused. You see, I pass two businesses that are in the auto enhancement business. The first is CPR racing where Asian kids trick out their Honda civics with nitro and pizzazz! The other is called Carolina Rock Shop. For the longest time I had no idea what the hell they sold, but I did notice these totally raised and pimped out Jeeps. Those who frequently run the Monday route and notice things no doubt have spotted one of these Jeeps parked on Cottage. So I finally went to their website (http://carolinarockshop.com/) and learned they did in fact pimp out Jeeps for extreme 4x4 adventuring. So anyway, I have been thinking about some experimental designs to discern the statistical differences, if any, between the average penis lengths of those two clienteles, or perhaps pooled versus men who drive normal cars. Perhaps some t-tests - anything so I can derive a p-value. Man, it's been a long time since I calculated one of those! Gathering the data is the part I can't get past.

One of my great mysteries is this woman I see walking southbound almost every day, almost always north of Scaleybark. Every day at 8:50, she is in the same place. Sometimes she is walking with a small child, but not always the same child. I see her every day and I know nothing about her. One day I was really late to work and I made the amazing discovery that she turns onto Scaleybark instead of proceeding down South. Every day. Way more regular that the mysterious old Asian dude. I sometimes want to stop and just say hello, but that's probably a little too weird.

The most humorous business I see is Buggy Bumpers. It makes me smile. Turns out it is auto repair shop. Go figure. There is also a new doggie daycare place near South End. I've seen a few more around town pop up. I often wonder if that business has a legitimate shot at growth. I didn't even know until recently dogs get diagnosed with the restless behavior and have to be tended to and drugged. No one escapes the wrath of the pharmaceutical companies. They are all EVIL - except the one Ms. Cantey works at. She sure is swell! Although her laugh in the vicinity of animals may be construed as animal testing...

Of course the big news on South Boulevard is construction of the light rail. This includes creating sidewalks on the actual street, so that construction is currently hampering my commute a bit, but nothing too aggravating. By that I mean taking detours past the residences of former girlfriends.

If you've waded this far through the journey into my South Boulevard psyche no doubt you are dying to get a washer and dryer update. Things are going well! My old housemate scratched up the dryer and unfortunately the top has started to rust! It is sad and I tried a little paint. With the cold weather the utility room is not heated so I try to be kind. And of course I am the only one using it at the moment.

I bring up the washer and dryer because I think there is an important debate that needs to occur within Sharksbite regarding the drying of running gear. Recently I arrived at a run suffering from extreme static cling on my shirt. I remarked this was the case since I did not machine dry any non cotton/poly running gear. Devout reader Chris (known to many Sharksbite members as Care Bear Chris) voiced his opinion that he machine dried everything because he was lazy and it required too much effort. I wonder if there are any white papers or data to back up the pro or cons of this important dilemma. I can tell you from experience that machine drying silk boxers is a big mistake.

I hope everyone is enjoying the Winter Olympics! I came into the whole thing a bit bitter. You see, one of my high school colleagues, Jill Bakken, surprised the world in 2002 by winning Gold in the Women's Bobsled with Vonetta Flowers. And I patiently waited for her return in 2006 - but she was cut from the team at the last second! So the USA team is cursed as far as I'm concerned - that's why they had to settle for silver this year. I did find out there was another hometown favorite to cheer for, downhill skier Scott McCartney, who actually placed the highest in Super G. That of course brings me to Bode Miller, who is obviously giving me a bad name! I finally saw footage of that Lisa Jacobelis chick "snow-boating" - I don't think she would have done that had she done MasterCard commercials instead. The most amazing race I watched to date was the men's 12.5km biathlon pursuit. Wow! As one of Swedish heritage, I disdain Norwegians so when that French skier powered past my-name-is-too-long my heart was pounding! Of course, I like cross-country skiing as I grew up partaking in the sport. I need to get my skis from home sometime soon...

I think it's time for this missive to conclude, but I did want to thank everyone who has encouraged me to write.

publius

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." - Oscar Wilde

FLASHBACK: August 18, 2005 - Publius Returns

In this post you learn why Publius cannot stand anyone who mentions the phrase "fluffy pillows."


Date: August 18, 2005 11:00:33 AM EDT
To: sharksbite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [sharksbite] return of the king

Hola amigos, it's been a long time since I rapped at ya! My excuses run the gamut from vacation in Seattle, a work conference in California, and training quite a bit for my appearance in the NYC Marathon. It is good to be back though, despite the intolerable weather.

I must confess I have spent a lot less time in deep thought as I drive to work. I think it has to do with the fact I wait until the last possible second to get out of bed, so I'm actually WAKING up as I drive. So unfortunately I may be one of those crazies you need to avoid on the road. For those that use South Boulevard, the water main construction continues to move south towards the intersection of East. This does mean that I am able to go all the way up to Bland to take my left, although it is easier to turn before the one lane. I do have big "commute" news, related to this, as I am no longer upset about what that detour had meant to me. Strange felicitous events have changed things for the better! ;-) If you don't know what I'm talking about, that's your quandary. Reader banana_brett has repeatedly asked me about the jogging Asian man. I am also happy to report that I saw him about a month ago, adjusting his white gloves at an intersection.

Many have commented on the progress at the Uptown Cabaret. It is certainly shaping up, but the construction has been noticeably slow. If you think about it, that must be a construction worker's dream job - so why the rush? And in one of my previous monologues I made mention that it was only an exterior job. Reader fool_of_a_tooke has informed me that they are indeed remodeling the interior, so this logic does make sense. That's why you hardly ever see the workers outside, I mean really, what is there to see there? I noticed the attached extra building on the east side is being demolished. I figured that was important for keeping the extra poles, but perhaps now that those are functional, that unaesthetically pleasing area can be demolished to park more patrons. On the subject of those that use these facilities, I was also petitioned by the bahama shorts clad reader seti_at_home to talk more about the Men's Club on Tyvola. I think that is really off subject, but he stressed that there are really good buffets at these establishments. As much as I like food, I don't think I would have much of an appetite. My female co-workers have never really expressed an interest in going across the street for lunch anyway. Seti_at_home should not feel forlorn as I witnessed him being offered a spot on "Nelson at Nite" to talk about his dreams of dating a stripper. His shorter companion, who also shared the fantasy, blushfully declined.

Uptown Cabaret isn't the only outfit remodeling these days in the Tryon and Morehead 'hood. After having lost the opportunity to relocate on East near the Greek Church (I would never spied strippers going into work anyway), we have redone our office. We ripped up our carpet and repainted the walls. When I came back from my recent west coast trip I almost felt like I was in the wrong place! Maybe because they all dumped all the unwanted crap in my office while I was gone. I swear it took me six hours to extricate my computer from the corner that first day. And now we have a big sign on the corner so everyone can associate us with the class act that is Uptown Cabaret!

Some time ago reader bruce_goose asked me about my pseudonym Publius. This was the pen name used by the only man ever unfortunate enough to be shot and killed by a standing vice president of the United States. I am referring of course to the genius Alexander Hamilton who along with John Jay and James Madison anonymously penned "The Federalist Papers." Hamilton was one of those people whose star burnt twice as bright but only for half as long. After relating this story to the gentle reader, a glaze came over his eyes signifying to me that perhaps I should not be making all these obscure historical references. Maybe the important lesson that Hamilton taught us, besides establishing frameworks for central banking, is to carefully think about our star; how bright we want it to burn, who we want to touch, and the legacy we want to leave when it inevitably must extinguish.

On the subject of (not) extinguishing, I am happy to report that my dryer has been working flawlessly. May it last longer than Ms. Cooley in her latest job! Wow, that's a pretty safe bet. The home warranty people who botched the repair had the gall to call yesterday ask me to shell out $500 for an additional year of "coverage." Wow, the privilege to pay a fifty Alexander Hamiltons to be screwed... Despite the fact the woman was oblivious to the egregious injury caused to me I let her have it. Normally I am a pretty laidback kind of guy. Even though the warranty expires in a few days I think will call in something to mess with them some more. I'd rather have to pay $2000 to an honest contractor if the situation warranted.

Despite my busy endeavors, I still have a little time to fritter and expand my horizons. You might like to know I tape three shows every day. They are "M*A*S*H*," "The Simpsons," and "Jeopardy." I will NOT under any circumstances watch that mindless show "Wheel of Fortune." Unfortunately, almost ten years ago I was in a live studio audience when the show came to Seattle and I had a epiphany when this airhead won $25,000 for screaming out "FLUFFY PILLOWS!" Never again, my friends. Never again. Still, my favorite quite activity is to read with Winston at my feet. I read all kinds of non-fiction. The only kind of fiction I like is stuff like Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club, Survivor, etc). Right now I am working on Steinbeck's "Cannery Row" as I was just in Monterey. I eagerly await my next book, a history of the pencil, penciled by Henry Petroski (whose book on great bridges and the engineers who dreamed them I recently finished).

No doubt I will have some interesting anecdotes to publish upon completion!

publius

FLASHBACK: June 23, 2005 - Publius post

In relatively few days Publius returned with more thoughts, obviously drunk with excitement over his writings.

Date: June 23, 2005 6:09:47 PM EDT
To: sharksbite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Who will rid me of this turbulent priest!?!?

This morning on my way to work I started thinking about that woman again in the car with the USAT sticker. Her reoccurance at specified intervals brought me to Halley's Comet and its occurrence in 1066. While I wasn't exactly thinking about Harod's bad omen as recorded on the Bayeux Tapestry, it did make me realize that sometimes it is important to seize upon those opportunities as I may never see her again. I certainly won't be around in another 76 years. So I encourage my readers not to be shy and let your friends know how you feel, give them a hug, or seize upon the opportunity to talk with someone new. I do remind the select few of you this does not give you the right to violate that restraining order.

I neglected to post a most important piece of information in my last letter, as these conversations did in fact originate from the topic of drying ones' clothes. For the last month my dryer was broken and I had to put up a temporary closeline! One of the antiquated breakers went out and the home warranty company was just awful about finding a replacement. I was tempered into deep thought about how we rely on such modern day appliances. It didn't bother me too much, but my housemate was somewhat nagging in the matter. I come from hardy stock. My parents left their dryer broken for at least seven years through the 1990s. My mom liked to store birdseed in there. They actually got it fixed when my (then) one year old nephew made his first trip from Madrid to the blessed shores of the Seattle metropolitan area. On the subject of my parents, they certainly enjoyed meeting those who assembled after the May 12th race. Hearty thanks again for such a wonderful birthday celebration.

Following up from my last post faithful reader annastacia reported to me that Uptown Cabaret is also remodeling the interior. That sort of deflates my joke about the boob job, as it seems my jab was aimed about the superficial qualities of beauty. Could Uptown Cabaret be building something beautiful inside? I guess I will never know, but it is my supposition the interior redesign will only add more poles and seats to make more money. That is sort of superficial too, I guess.

Thankfully the Pedro cake is gone. Apparently it was quite good. See, I hate to see food go to waste. I was brought up to eat everything on my plate. I sometimes struggle with that when broccoli, beets, and/or squash has been put on my plate. One of the great things about becoming an adult though is I do have a little more control what gets put on the plate, which can be a good thing but often can be troublesome when trying to eat right. Perhaps Mary Jo, having just food nutritional bliss at the right price, could help me out there. Otherwise things at work are going a little better. I'm not getting as much static about my messy desk as I have been working fairly hard on filing maps, journals, whitepapers, and other such et cetera away. Unfortunately our neighbors Southeast Origami have just been kicked out, and they are (rightfully) blaming us. The lady there "accidentally" took of one my UPS boxes with networking equipment into her car when they were packing up.

While not drying my clothes or framing some of my posters, I am currently reading a book on Eleanor of Acquitaine. This 12th century (French and later) English queen was known for both her uncanny beauty and governing prowess. She was of course married to the Henry II who accidentally (and supposedly) uttered the line featured in the subject line, which caused four drunk eavesdropping knights to go out and murder Thomas a Becket, thus rocketing him to the number 3 martyred dudes of all time. (Number 2 of course is Fry from Futurama when they cut the show after four measly seasons). I only picked up the book because I knew of an obscure passage making an indirect reference to her beauty in Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. Much to my chagrin I had to read in 125 pages before Weir referenced that quote. The nerve! Seriously though, it is a good read.

Can you believe I got dragged into a bacholerette party last Saturday? I had done a Olympic distance triathlon that morning and was dead tired. I didn't even get a nap in! Thankfully there was lots of alcohol involved and we only had to watch these women drinking from their penis straws for about ten minutes. A special shout-out to fellow SB'ers Lisa, Jin Woo, and Renee for making the rest of the evening one memorable experience.

Next up, cheese rolling in England (aka grocery store shopping experiences in Charlotte)
publius

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(whatever said in Latin sounds profound)

FLASHBACK: June 20, 2005 - Publius branches out

Publius made his return several months later, a true classic with the introduction of old Asian running man and the Uptown Cabaret renovations.

Date: June 20, 2005 9:37:49 AM EDT
To: sharksbite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Dear Reader

Hola, amigos. What's goin' on? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I pulled out on South Boulevard this morning and I saw another beautiful woman driving a car with a USAT sticker. I wondered if it was the same woman I saw several months ago and wrote about on this forum, so it in turned reminded me that it is important everyone be kept up with the latest current events.

The major news is that South Boulevard is down to one lane on either side from Park to Bland. My loyal readers may remember that I depend on turning left at Bland, which is no longer available. So in turn I've gotten into the pattern of taking a left on Park. Unfortunately I don't like taking that street as an ex-girlfriend lives in those apartments. But you do what you have to do! I could take a left at East and down past Price's Chicken Coop... Man, I've been here almost two years, work nearby, and have yet to get some of that good fried chicken!!

Before I got there I was watching all the guys in those stand/ride lawnmowers wishing I had my own, as my front yard is rather large. I do like keeping up my front yard so Winston can play out there. While my parents were here my mother created some nice flower beds which I have been instructed to water twice a week. So far so good!

Another interesting thing to watch for on my way to work is this small old Asian guy. He has a long grey beard and about a year ago he was out every morning in the cold, jogging with his funny mittens and hat. What a riot! And inspiration to boot. One time I was at the Dowd riding on the bike and I saw him in the weight rooms, you know, one of those gym rats like Jin Woo. For the last nine months after that I never saw him, so I feared things were not good but about a month ago he returned.

For those that haven't noticed Uptown Cabaret is undergoing major renovations outside. You know, kind of like getting a boob job! I guess they are trying to have this nice facade for a change. I watch the progress every day, not because I have a Very Important Customer card but because I work across the street (above Overstock Market). We were going to move to one of those great houses on East Boulevard, which would have been cool for jumping out to join everyone on the Wednesday run, but we could not afford the rent.

I brought in a cake for my co-workers today. It has "Vote For Pedro" written on it. How I came into custody of this cake is a sad and disturbing story. Let's just say I won't eat the cake on principle. The only reason I know it isn't poisoned is my housemate helped herself to slice last night. So it is better if other people eat the cake and it be gone from my life as soon as possible.

Well, I really should get going. My desk was recently voted messiest in the office by my boss (hint hint) and I am under a lot of pressure to clean up my act.

publius

FLASHBACK: April 12, 2005 - Publius and his first post

Often my friends in Charlotte have wondered who Publius truly is. Well, the "real" Publius was a Roman consul named Publius Valerius Publicola who helped form the Roman republic. More relevant to the history of the United States, Alexander Hamilton paid homage to Publius by using the pseudonym for many of the Federalist Paper articles.

So how did Publius come to Charlotte? Well, it is a large banking center with a Federal Reserve office, and Hamilton was the first Secretary of the Treasury. A true genius with a hot head, the pieces slowly came together.

The first evidence of Publius and his posts were in early March of 2005, but were mostly private correspondence. The true moment of awakening came on April 12, 2005 when a young woman by the name of Jen Cooley had been posting on the Sharksbite running club about the stupid trivial details of her life that I could be certain no one cared about. The dam broke that day as Publius burst into public life with this response:

Date: April 12, 2005 11:06:44 AM EDT
To: sharksbite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: RE: [sharksbite] NEWSFLASH uninteresting post on listserv

Why do you have to bother every single person on the list with these details? It really doesn't require much effort to change the address from sharksbite to tim. In fact, I was going to email Tim this morning about my amazing morning. I didn't sleep all that well, I had my fan on the first time. I did have to get up at 4:30 to let my dog out. Can you believe my housemate was still on the couch?!? Oh, I had a decent bowl, albeit a little stale, of Golden Grahams for breakfast while I read the news. For lunch I put an apple in my bag, along with a great chicken and rice dish I made last weekend. I didn't have enough time to do my leg strengthening exercises, but don't tell my physical therapist!! Today is garbage day for me. My housemate had already brought up the garbage can, and the recycle truck had been by, but not the yard waste. Let's see, and then on the drive to work today I accidentally cut out this really cute woman off. Damn! And she had a USAT sticker on her car. There was this cab too that changed lanes right in the middle of the intersection. Thank goodness South wasn't as backed up this morning! Did you know when traffic is bad I turn left on Tremont and go up Tryon instead of taking a left on Bland? When I got to work I had a yogurt to supplement my breakfast. Boy, I'm really tired and Tuesdays are so long for me! I swim in the morning and then play Ultimate Frisbee at night.

Maybe I should talk to Nelson about setting up one of those blog things...

Publius

p.s. if you are actually offended by this email you need to talk with Mary Jo