Monday, January 21, 2008

FLASHBACK: August 18, 2005 - Publius Returns

In this post you learn why Publius cannot stand anyone who mentions the phrase "fluffy pillows."

Date: August 18, 2005 11:00:33 AM EDT
Subject: [sharksbite] return of the king

Hola amigos, it's been a long time since I rapped at ya! My excuses run the gamut from vacation in Seattle, a work conference in California, and training quite a bit for my appearance in the NYC Marathon. It is good to be back though, despite the intolerable weather.

I must confess I have spent a lot less time in deep thought as I drive to work. I think it has to do with the fact I wait until the last possible second to get out of bed, so I'm actually WAKING up as I drive. So unfortunately I may be one of those crazies you need to avoid on the road. For those that use South Boulevard, the water main construction continues to move south towards the intersection of East. This does mean that I am able to go all the way up to Bland to take my left, although it is easier to turn before the one lane. I do have big "commute" news, related to this, as I am no longer upset about what that detour had meant to me. Strange felicitous events have changed things for the better! ;-) If you don't know what I'm talking about, that's your quandary. Reader banana_brett has repeatedly asked me about the jogging Asian man. I am also happy to report that I saw him about a month ago, adjusting his white gloves at an intersection.

Many have commented on the progress at the Uptown Cabaret. It is certainly shaping up, but the construction has been noticeably slow. If you think about it, that must be a construction worker's dream job - so why the rush? And in one of my previous monologues I made mention that it was only an exterior job. Reader fool_of_a_tooke has informed me that they are indeed remodeling the interior, so this logic does make sense. That's why you hardly ever see the workers outside, I mean really, what is there to see there? I noticed the attached extra building on the east side is being demolished. I figured that was important for keeping the extra poles, but perhaps now that those are functional, that unaesthetically pleasing area can be demolished to park more patrons. On the subject of those that use these facilities, I was also petitioned by the bahama shorts clad reader seti_at_home to talk more about the Men's Club on Tyvola. I think that is really off subject, but he stressed that there are really good buffets at these establishments. As much as I like food, I don't think I would have much of an appetite. My female co-workers have never really expressed an interest in going across the street for lunch anyway. Seti_at_home should not feel forlorn as I witnessed him being offered a spot on "Nelson at Nite" to talk about his dreams of dating a stripper. His shorter companion, who also shared the fantasy, blushfully declined.

Uptown Cabaret isn't the only outfit remodeling these days in the Tryon and Morehead 'hood. After having lost the opportunity to relocate on East near the Greek Church (I would never spied strippers going into work anyway), we have redone our office. We ripped up our carpet and repainted the walls. When I came back from my recent west coast trip I almost felt like I was in the wrong place! Maybe because they all dumped all the unwanted crap in my office while I was gone. I swear it took me six hours to extricate my computer from the corner that first day. And now we have a big sign on the corner so everyone can associate us with the class act that is Uptown Cabaret!

Some time ago reader bruce_goose asked me about my pseudonym Publius. This was the pen name used by the only man ever unfortunate enough to be shot and killed by a standing vice president of the United States. I am referring of course to the genius Alexander Hamilton who along with John Jay and James Madison anonymously penned "The Federalist Papers." Hamilton was one of those people whose star burnt twice as bright but only for half as long. After relating this story to the gentle reader, a glaze came over his eyes signifying to me that perhaps I should not be making all these obscure historical references. Maybe the important lesson that Hamilton taught us, besides establishing frameworks for central banking, is to carefully think about our star; how bright we want it to burn, who we want to touch, and the legacy we want to leave when it inevitably must extinguish.

On the subject of (not) extinguishing, I am happy to report that my dryer has been working flawlessly. May it last longer than Ms. Cooley in her latest job! Wow, that's a pretty safe bet. The home warranty people who botched the repair had the gall to call yesterday ask me to shell out $500 for an additional year of "coverage." Wow, the privilege to pay a fifty Alexander Hamiltons to be screwed... Despite the fact the woman was oblivious to the egregious injury caused to me I let her have it. Normally I am a pretty laidback kind of guy. Even though the warranty expires in a few days I think will call in something to mess with them some more. I'd rather have to pay $2000 to an honest contractor if the situation warranted.

Despite my busy endeavors, I still have a little time to fritter and expand my horizons. You might like to know I tape three shows every day. They are "M*A*S*H*," "The Simpsons," and "Jeopardy." I will NOT under any circumstances watch that mindless show "Wheel of Fortune." Unfortunately, almost ten years ago I was in a live studio audience when the show came to Seattle and I had a epiphany when this airhead won $25,000 for screaming out "FLUFFY PILLOWS!" Never again, my friends. Never again. Still, my favorite quite activity is to read with Winston at my feet. I read all kinds of non-fiction. The only kind of fiction I like is stuff like Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club, Survivor, etc). Right now I am working on Steinbeck's "Cannery Row" as I was just in Monterey. I eagerly await my next book, a history of the pencil, penciled by Henry Petroski (whose book on great bridges and the engineers who dreamed them I recently finished).

No doubt I will have some interesting anecdotes to publish upon completion!


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